is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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