Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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