i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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