In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
