RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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