i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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