haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
