A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
