the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize