jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i drank out of a bidet.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I can't put those talents on a resume
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
