OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
