i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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