woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Randomize
