4 words: hood of his car
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
