You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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