Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
