I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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