arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
