Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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