he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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