Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
