Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Boobs speak an international language.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
