I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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