She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
