You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
