i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
