That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
