I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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