So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
