how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
