Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize