You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
