There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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