Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
