Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
