if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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