I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
