apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
