The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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