I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize