I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
