Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize