just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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