no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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