i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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