Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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