My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
