yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
