He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
