OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize