would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
