I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
