apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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