i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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