Acid is not a monday night drug
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
