When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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