Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
