"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I can't put those talents on a resume
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
