I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize