I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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