before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he puts the penis in happiness.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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