saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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