What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
