We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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